I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
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Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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