so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize