You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Are these your boobs on my camera?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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