I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize