Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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