apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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