Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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