I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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