the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I need moral support for this bender
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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