I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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