At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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