You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
organizing the empties. That sober.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize