So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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