Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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