She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize