Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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