wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
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I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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