Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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