btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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