i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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