how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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