I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize