i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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