i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
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I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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