she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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