Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
high people should be assigned attendants
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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