didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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