I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize