I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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