I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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