Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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