You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
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Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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