my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize