she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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