Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize