i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
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My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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