Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
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My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
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So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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