But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm going to jail i love you
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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