Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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