her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
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Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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