after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
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but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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