So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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