so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize