how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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