hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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