Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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