I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
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Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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