Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize