just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How does one acquire holy water?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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