I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize